||| Crap Apple |||: February 2006

Ok, so I'm sitting here in the kitchen with the stench of skunk permeating every nook and fabric of my apartment. Apparently it is sex season for the rascals, and last night was the coup de grace. Some chucklehead neighbor felt like smashing the male all over the concrete block. The best part is that the female had just enough time to blow her geyser before disappearing into the frosty night. By morning the air was vile.

So I'm sitting here in the kitchen, and it's the night after the incident. I can't go to work tomorrow because every bit of me reeks. And I'm literally freezing because If I turn on my heat, I get blasted with a god-awful vapor of hot piss and rubber. Jesus, you couldn't create this smell in a lab.

I need $20,000.00. There's a cabin on a Russian icebreaker calling my name. I'm taking donations.

Link

Fresh 'Bigfoot' footprints located near a stream in Panti Forest

R. Sittamparam

JOHOR BARU, Sat 18 Feb 2006: PHYSICAL evidence of what could have been Bigfoot's was today found at the foothills of Panti Forest by bio-diversity researchers and media who investigated claims by villagers that they heard the creature's spine-chilling calls on Tuesday.

Following a three-hour trek into the jungle near Kampung Lukut in Panti, the team saw giant footprints and broken foliage two metres above ground which could only have been reached by a tall creature. It was reported yesterday that residents of Kampung Lukut had been rudely awakened by the howling over the past four days.

Local biodiversity researcher Vincent Chow who led the group, including the NST and British Broadcasting Corporation (BBC) media crew, said although wild buffaloes in the area had trampled over the tracks found at a stream, the group managed to find some untouched footprints believed to have been made by Bigfoot.

Plantation worker Yazid Jaafar, 29, said he first saw the footprints on Tuesday while investigating the source of the early morning howling.

"We could clearly see the large human like footprints with four toes and big toe bent about 90 degrees away from the other toes like a monkey's foot. The footprint tracks stretched along the banks of the stream.

"The creature appeared to have walked along the bank, probably feeding on leaves growing there before returning into the jungle," he said.

Source